Many of us have been exposed to management techniques in the workplace. Oftentimes some consultant was brought in, and a plan was embraced by the administration, usually to the chagrin of the workers. Oh my - hopefully at least some of the suggestions have been helpful!
Running a household with kids can be more challenging than running a business: you are open 24/7, with no vacation time, and you have few opportunities for professional development! Getting through the week’s schedule – or planning something bigger like a family vacation – can be fraught with miscommunication and frustration between parenting partners. If you are reading this you might be open to suggestions, so here I go:
· Conception: Jointly come up with an idea – a whiteboard schedule for the week or a decision to spend a weekend looking at fall foliage – and agree to jointly take responsibility for what happens next.
· Planning: Make a detailed plan – who drives Johnny to the dentist and who picks up Hannah at ballet – and write it down (perhaps on the whiteboard schedule!).
· Execution: Be circumspect about carrying out what you signed up for. If there needs to be changes (which might be inevitable) approach the partner with grace and humility when asking for a new arrangement.
Research suggests that many working women are still doing a “second shift” when they get home from work – often leading to resentment and exhaustion. Research (and my own experience) also suggest that men benefit from multiple ways to engage with family in the home – cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. – to get beyond traditional stereotypes of men as bumbling nincompoops when it comes to making school lunches or getting grass stains out of your child’s pants.
Parenting is probably the hardest job many of us will ever do. Let’s have a plan to co-parent well, sharing both the tasks and joys of a family that works well. What are you waiting for?
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As you enjoy the fellowship of Thanksgiving dinner please be sure to acknowledge the indigenous peoples whose land we live upon – here on City Island they were the Siwanoy, who often had summer camps on the island for fishing and harvesting shellfish.
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